Common Phrases Girls Use and What They Really Mean

Posted by Harry Tran on 07.10.10 @ 01:53

As an individual who has been studying the opposite sex since puberty, I now consider myself an expert in the subject area; a connoisseur of all womankind even. The problem with girls is they have such a hard time thinking that they sometimes say things when they really mean something else. A great example of such a situation is when no really means yes, though sometimes no actually means no, and yes can mean no, but more often than not yes is yes and no is a maybe which is almost always a no. Today I’m going to expose all of this girl talk and teach you guys the true meaning of a couple commonly heard phrases.

1. “Hey, whats up?!”
This is one you will commonly get as a text message. Don’t get too excited when you read this. No, she is not actually interested in talking to you so don’t get your hopes up. The true meaning of this text is: Hey, I’m bored because none of the guys I really like are texting me back and I am craving attention so you will have to do for now. What do you do when this situation comes up? You could foolishly try to have a conversation with the girl and fall into her attention-seeking trap… or, OR you could say, “not much, im busy tho; txt u back l8er.” This way, the girl will not think you’re just some loser sitting around all day waiting for someone to text them. She might even become intrigued at the idea of what you’re doing and start talking to you with real interest. Another great thing about this method is that you have effectively turned the tables on her; now she is the one waiting for your text. You sir, have navigated through the attention-seeking trap

2. “Let’s hang out sometime!”
So you’re walking through the streets and run into an attractive girl you haven’t seen in a while. You guys hit it off for a while… well at least you think you’re hitting in off so you decide you want to see this girl again in the near future. So you’re looking for a window of opportunity to ask her out, but she pretends she has to go and throws out the oft-empty promise of “Let’s hang out sometime!” You do not, let me make this clear to you by typing it one more time, you do not simply say “Okay! See you around then!” Unbeknownst to you, “let’s hang out sometime” really has a hidden stipulation: If I don’t tell him when we should hang out, it will never happen! Ho ho ho, you girls think you’re so clever don’t you? Well you’re not! Guys all around the world are catching on to this phrase and when it is used, we will no longer just stand there and go, “Okay!” We will put you on the spot and throw out a specific day by saying, “How about this Friday?” Now if you really don’t want to hang out with us, you have to tell us to our faces.

3. “I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”
You tell a girl you like her and this is the best she comes up with? This is quite possibly the most uncreative excuse in the history of womankind. We know what this really means and you’re not fooling any of us with, “I don’t want to lose you as a friend.” This phrase, the way it should come out of a girl’s mouth should go a little something like this: I think I can do better. I mean, if you are currently single and have a guy friend who likes you, what good reason is there to reject a possible relationship? You guys are compatible since you’re friends meaning you both like each other’s personalities… so there has to be something else… which leads us to number 4!

4. “I want someone who is funny and smart with a great personality.”
No you don’t.

5. “[some guy] is so hot.”
I’m not talking about when a girl says something about how they love Justin Beiber or Orlando Bloom, I’m talking when you make references to guys you find attractive at your school or workplace. Guys, have you ever been in a conversation with two girls and they start talking about guys they like and whether or not they find them attractive? This is their way of saying: I’m interested in guys, just not you.

Well, my students, I hope have become enlightened through my teachings. Use this knowledge wisely and to your advantage. Unfortunately, this is not a comprehensive breakdown of girlspeak; but much like how the Rosetta Stone was used to decipher the hieroglyphs of an Ancient Egyptian civilization, the mind of Harold will one day unlock the secrets to the language of woman.


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