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Top 5 Guy Movies
Posted by Bryant Wong on 07.08.10 @ 19:24
Movies of all types tend to fall into certain categories. There’s Action, Adventure, Epic Saga, Comedy, Drama, Romance, Science Fiction, Fantasy, Superhero, Cartoon, Thriller, Scary, Mystery and any combination thereof to name just a few. They can also be divided up by their target audience like Family, Chick Flick, Guy Movie, Teen etc. This brings us to the matter at hand, the Top 5 Best Guy Movies.
1. The Rock – FBI, Navy SEALs, F-18’s, “thermite plasma”, car chase, Baysplosions™ (note: not actually trademarked), assault rifles, machine guns, missiles, chemical weapons that melts your skin off, spasm so hard you break your own back and spit your guts out (note: not actually what cholinesterase inhibitors do) and Sean Connery make this one of the best Guy Movies out there. Fast paced action with spots of humorous situations, but mostly everything in this movie would make a guy go “Oh that is cool.” The shower room scene where the Navy SEALs meet their demise was recreated as a Spec Op as well as a portion of a mission in the recent Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 to show that, even though The Rock is going on thirteen years old, there are still references being made to it in popular media today. I’ll take pleasure in guttin’ you, boy.
2. Gladiator – A slightly different type of movie from The Rock, this stays pretty serious throughout with almost no comedic elements. The opening scene for this movie was simply awesome. Catapults, burning oil, barbarians, archers, Roman Legionnaires, cavalry. The story was actually quite involved for a Guy Movie with some Roman politics involved, matters of succession, some pretty awkward incest and even a little bromance in there as well. Mostly though, just having a main character named Maximus Decimus Meridius who owns all comers in a matter of minutes, if not seconds, even when the odds and circumstances are slanted against him, makes this a great movie. All of the fight scenes are well choreographed and exciting but none of them are superfluous, they all add to the story somehow. Strength and Honor.
3. Starship Troopers – Based (VERY) loosely on Robert Heinlein’s science fiction novel of the same name, Starship Troopers is the quintessential guy flick. This is one of those movies that is so bad that it’s good. There are alien bugs that actually look pretty awesome for 1997 graphics, there are spaceships, there are explosions (tactical nuke bazookas), there are a lot of (ineffectual) guns, there’s camaraderie, there’s completely unnecessary nudity in the infamous shower scene and there’s some maybe necessary nudity in the “love” scene as well. Apparently, in the future, all fighting is done with unsupported infantry as opposed to armored vehicles that giant space bugs would presumably be unable to do anything against. Denise Richards and Niel Patrick Harris just add to this movie’s awesomeness a little, but mainly, the entire movie is just a bunch of ground pounders with guns shooting at giant space alien bugs. Would you like to know more?
4. Top Gun – I shouldn’t have to explain this to anyone really. Everyone knows it and loves it. What’s not to like about Tom Cruise playing Maverick and flying F-14’s. The theme song to this movie is still awesome and people still use lines from this movie. Tower, this is Ghost Rider requesting a flyby. That’s a negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.
5. Predator – There had to be an Arnold movie in this list and I was torn between this and Terminator 1, but then I decided, although Terminator is the better movie, Predator is the better GUY movie. There is literally no plot to speak of, just a team of special operatives rescuing some refugees and they get hunted down and killed by an alien as they try to escape. When the characters greet each other, it’s a flexing contest. There are close up camera shots at just the muzzles of their guns as they line up and shoot for several seconds at least. Jungle, alien, guns, explosions. That is really all this movie amounts to and it is so glorious. This is also the origin of the famous line that Arnold delivers in a way that only he can pull off. GET TO DA CHOPPA!