Posted by Harry Tran on 08.19.09 @ 17:09
Do you ever wonder how some people get so much traffic to their websites? I wondered the same things myself under I finally discovered the secrets in a book hidden in the highest mountains of the Himalayas. If you keep reading, you can probably build a website almost as good as mine.
1. Find the Best Host
If you want a truly professional site, you need to get the best web host available. You have to get a host with giant, flashy ads. This is the best way to catch the attention of visitors; when they see the ad they are immediately enticed to see what else is on the page. Some examples of these awesome hosts include Geocities and Tripod. Who do I use you say? I use asmallorange (seriously).
2. Design Your Page
To have truly admirable graphics that will stun users with their beauty, you must learn to use Microsoft Paint at all costs. If you have a Mac or run inferior operating systems such as one the many Linux distributions out there, you are out of luck because you are missing out on some of the best software available. Paint allows you to make extremely difficult graphic design tasks very easy. Some of these tasks include: drawing circles, squares, ellipses and straight lines. It can even zoom in with an 8x magnification!
3. The “Under Construction” Sign
You can’t let visitors know that your site is ready; your site is never ready. To be a great website you must constantly be growing. I believe that means you have to let your users know that your site is under construction. You should make it very clear by putting the image at the top of the page. If you really want to catch the users’ eyes make it an animated GIF with flashing lights and everything.
4. Color is Key
All of the websites on the internet nowadays have a boring white or grayish tinted background. What if you did one better and made your background something flamboyant like blue, pink or bright yellow? For those who are ambitious and really want to impress visitors, use a bright background picture with random stars, hearts, horse shoes, clovers and balloons. Just make sure there aren’t any pictures of blue moons. That would just be taking it too far.
5. type 2 show u r a pro
u can c hu on the internet r highly experienced vs those hu dunno how to type properly. altho the previous paragraphs were written improperly this is rly how you should type on ur pages to optimize visitors. i dont even know why i dont type like this for harrytran.com. everyone knows that true knowledge comes from those hu r type good.
Now that you know these secrets, feel free to share them with the world using the links below this article. With these secrets out, I expect the FBI to be knocking on my door pretty soon since I have compromised some highly classified information. Tell everyone I took one for the team.
Posted by Daniel Mau on 06.13.10 @ 05:36
Don't forget to mention another tried and true technique: the embedded midi/mp3 that auto-plays whenever someone visits your site. You're sure to impress them with your taste in music, and they'll appreciate viewing all of your site's content as they search every corner of the page for the player in order to increase the volume and make sure the song is on repeat (which you were considerate enough to do beforehand).