Meet Team HATE

Posted by Harry Tran on 08.19.09 @ 17:18

The sky roared with thunder for the mighty god Poseidon was angry that day. Rain fell upon his head while he worked ever so diligently on his greatest new invention. Harold, using his limited skills and available technology, was attempting to modify a bicycle that would allow him to travel at the speed of light. This would ultimately allow him to travel back to his hometown within seconds.

Alas, the gods have smiled upon him for the storm calmed and his invention was complete. It was now time to return to the homeland. What mysteries await our daring and inexplicably good-looking hero?

Meanwhile, back in the fabled city of Wichita, his three nemeses were conjuring a plan to thwart Harold’s glorious return.

Like a bolt of lighting, Harold biked home and was ready for a weekend of joy and relation. Most of his family was on vacation back in Vietnam so Harold was left to fend for himself. Obeying his parent’s wishes not to throw any parties, Harold merely gathered a small group of individuals to come over and watch a basketball game.

Harold called one of his old high school buddies and he knew a couple of girls who have heard of the legendary Harold and wanted to meet him. Harold’s friend assured him there would only be a couple of girls so the cleanliness of the house would be guaranteed. Unbeknownst to Harold and his friend, the society known as Harold’s Always Troublesome Ensemble (HATE), was tapped in on another line and soon became aware of the party at Harold’s House.

After overhearing the conversation, HATE called all the girls they knew and gave them Harold's address and the time of the party.

After going shopping and buying a bunch of food for his friend and his female companions, Harold returned hope and got ready for the small party. After an hour of watching basketball, Harold and his friends were having a great time, in fact, he was about to get some digits when...

Surprised and unfortunately interrupted by the doorbell, Harold went upstairs to find out what was going on. Before opening the door he could already hear thousands of people screaming outside. What is going on?

Without warning, a swarm of people rushed into the house and the party started spinning out of control. All was going according to HATE’s plan… but Harold wasn’t stupid. He knew this was all their doing. He sought Laura and tried to get her to admit they were behind the whole thing. But as usual, Laura, looking suave in her aviator sunglasses, gave Harold the cold shoulder and turned him away. Seeking more answers, Harold tried to find the other two girls.

“WHY ARE THERE PEOPLE AT MY HOUSE?!” Harold yelled at Hannah.

While Harry wasn’t looking Lauren snuck up behind him and knocked him out with a lead pipe. The two grabbed his wallet, took his drivers license again and posted them online for everyone to see.

Harold eventually woke up with the nastiest headache and to the sound of his parents returning home. Fighting back his tears, he tried to explain to his parents it wasn’t his fault, but they pointed out some online pictures proving that the party took place.

With much anger, Harold’s parents threw him out of the house and told him not to return until he learned his lesson. Laura, Hannah and Lauren have once again ruined Harold’s return to Wichita, not to mention he almost got a girl’s phone number before the giant mob of people interrupted.

Holding his head down and once again fighting back tears of sorrow, Harold mounted his bike and returned to Chicago lonely and without friends, money or a driver’s license.

Disclaimer: All characters and events in this are based on real life experiences from the perspective of an individual who shall be known as Harold to protect his identity. Nothing is exaggerated or fabricated. Just kidding; but seriously.


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